The BIG Celebration!

Happy days are here again!  Jason came home from his second two-month trip to Egypt on August 5th and we wasted no time planning and throwing a huge party.  Ever since Cayden was in the NICU, we talked about wanting to thank all of the people who came to our aid.  We wanted to do something special; saying 'thank you' over and over just didn't seem adequate.



We wanted to celebrate friendship, Cayden's miraculous good health, and also the fact that - after 20 years of chipping away at it - Jason finally completed his bachelor's degree.  We invited everyone we could think of who has been a part of our ordeal over the past two years, including family, friends, neighbors, therapists, and NICU nurses, then we stocked up on lots of great BBQ, beer, and sangria.  On Saturday, August 11th, we threw open our back gate and piled over 80 people into our backyard to eat, drink, laugh, socialize, and watch two awesome bands play (I'm With Her, from Denver and my old friends, Shurman, from Austin, Texas).  It's a day we'll never forget!

We hung these two pictures on the wall above the food table, just to remind everyone how far Cayden has come...
Then: 11/22/10 - 2 lbs. 0 oz.
Now: 6/29/12 - 26 pounds

While I was introducing Shurman, Cayden came up to help and got a round of applause.
The party was in his honor, after all!

Jason and me with some of our guests

Haley E. Rydell and Angie Stevens from I'm With Her

Shurman!  (Harley Husbands, Aaron Beavers, Clint Short, and Mike Therieau)

One of two yummy cakes we had

We even had two very special friends fly in from out of town for the big event.  Connie (who is a faithful follower of this blog - hi, Connie!) came in from Wisconsin and Steene (who spent over a week at our house last summer, helping out TREMENDOUSLY with Cayden and Jamison while Jason was out of town for work) surprised the heck out of us by telling us she couldn't make it, then she secretly caught a flight from Phoenix and showed up at our doorstep right before the party started!  It made the day even more special having them there to share in the fun!

Cayden with Connie

 I know there are lots of other things that have been happening since my last update, but my mind is still swimming with all of the party memories, making it hard to think back about what's happened developmentally in the past month or so!  Cayden is a lot more vocal - he's saying dozens of words clearly now.  One of the cutest things he does is say, "Some!" over and over when he wants something. 

He also likes to pull the head off of our life-size plastic lawn goose and then leave the head laying somewhere for me to find while he pushes the headless body around the wooden floor.  Often, he'll bring the head right to me, proudly shouting "GOO!" as he sticks it in my lap or face.  It's pretty funny, but a bit morbid when you stop and think about how it looks! 

He's walking and running like a champ.  Well, I guess he's still pretty tipsy when he runs, but he doesn't fall nearly as much and when he does fall, he just gets right back up and keeps on going!  One of his favorite things to do in the back yard is push his play lawn mower around.  If only I could get him to push the real one!

When Jason got home, we started both boys in parent and tot swimming lessons.  We went four days a week for two weeks in a row and Cayden LOVED it! 

Practicing kicking with Momma



Floating in a life vest with Daddy

JUMP!  Jumping in from the side of our pool with our instructor, Colleen.

Doing the Hokey Pokey with big brother Jamison at the end of class

I guess that's about all to update for now.  I'm sure I'll think of some more things as soon as I post this, so maybe I'll have another entry sooner rather than later!

Summer daze

Wow!  I can't believe it's been over a month since I've written!  The last time I wrote was the day Jason left again for Egypt, and he's been gone five weeks.

The three of us (Jamison, Cayden, and I) have been keeping busy and trying to keep cool.  It has been a long, wicked hot summer already, and the hottest couple of months are still ahead of us.  We broke multiple records in the month of June - several individual days' records were broken, the driest June ever, the overall hottest June ever, and twice we tied the record for hottest temperature ever recorded in Denver.  I'm sure I'll get very little sympathy from anyone else right now considering most of the rest of the country is melting too.  And it is true that at least we don't have the humidity to go along with the heat, so I'll try to stop complaining...

The good news is that this time around (with Jason being gone for another two month period) has been MUCH easier than the first time.  Since we can now go out in public with Cayden, a lot of the stress is relieved.  Not to say that it's easy being a pseudo-single mom with two under two, but it's easier. 

We wasted no time in setting up lots of play dates with many of the friends we've missed spending time with during our isolation over the past year and a half.  We've met friends at different playgrounds, at our house, at the "sprayground" (a playground that sprays and splashes water from different structures), and even ventured out to the Wildlife Experience - a sort of museum/zoo-without-live-animals, only stuffed (as in taxidermy stuffed) animals, with my old high school friend, Stacy, and her little guy, Brody.

- Chasing fish at the Wildlife Experience -
It's hard to tell in this picture, but there is a projected image of fish swimming on the floor,
and it moves and reacts when you step into the image area.  Pretty cool!

One afternoon, we went to Kidtopia - a weekly event put on during the month of June by an outdoor mall near us.  They have games, contests, and activities like face painting and people making balloon animals, all for free.  The week we went, they had a petting zoo. I took Cayden and Jamison inside the enclosure and surprisingly, Jamison was the one who clung to my leg, scared, while Cayden took off exploring.  They had at least a dozen pygmy goats, a donkey, little chickens, rabbits...Cayden loved them all and squealed with delight each time he pet something.  I wish I would have been able to get some pictures, but I didn't have my camera with me.

We've spent a lot of time cooling off at a few different friends' pools as well as in our back yard.  We have a little inflatable pool I bought a couple years ago that you can hook a hose up to and it will spray a sprinkle of water.  Cayden was terrified of the spraying water and did nothing but scream and cry whenever it was on.  He calmed down a bit when it was off, but still didn't want much to do with it.

Cute but apparently very scary crab-sprinkling-pool

 
So since it seemed Cayden wasn't thrilled with the pool, I bought a water table to play with.  He likes it and will stand there and play with it for a good long time, and he splashes enough so that he gets a little wet and cools off at least a little bit.

After playing on a little outdoor plastic slide at a friend's house, I bought a similar one for the boys.  Cayden was climbing on it before I could get the thing all put together!  This guy has no fear and he is a CLIMBER.  I guess having been through what he went through in 111 days in the NICU, nothing scares him!

King of the mountain!

We went to my best friend, Laura's, brother and sister-in-law's house for the Fourth of July.  They have their own pool and we were the only guests there, so it was great to have the whole pool to ourselves. 

Hanging out with Aunt Bee on the Fourth of July

Happy birthday, America!

With all of this activity lately and all of these new adventures, Cayden has barely been making it until his nap time.  In fact, quite often, he passes out in his high chair at lunch before I can get him into his crib!

Too. Tired. To. Eat. Anymore.

Developmentally, Cayden is doing well.  He's walking all the time and is getting steadier on his feet.  He still falls quite a bit, but I think that's usually either because he's tired or because he's trying to go faster than his little legs can carry him!  He'll probably continue with physical therapy for a few more months, as there are still gross motor skills he may need help mastering, but he'll probably no longer need PT by the end of the year.

Amy Jo, our occupational therapist, says that he's doing so well with fine motor skills that we'll likely only need another month or so of visits from her.  His language and communication skills are developing rapidly and his vocabulary is exploding!  Two weeks ago, I was concerned that he was only saying maybe three or four words.  Since then, I've been keeping a list and every day, he adds a word or two.  He's up to more than 20 words now!  The Developmental Pathways coordinator said they'd monitor his progress and reassess in a few months to see if they think he needs speech therapy, but everyone is pretty certain he's right on track and should be fine.

Thankfully, this second time with Jason being gone seems to be going by faster than the first time.  I'm sure keeping busy has helped, and I know the boys are happy to be able to do and see more than just the inside of our house.  Jason is due home around August 4th, and we are counting down the days!  We plan on having a big party when he's home, so stay tuned for details on that!

Chick Magnet

Being the mom, of course I think Cayden is just the cutest thing ever, but I think I've been gathering enough evidence lately to substantiate my claim.  Everywhere we go, little girls seem to flock to and fawn over him!  Granted, until recently we haven't gotten out and been around little girls much in his 18 months of life, and maybe this is just what little girls do, but I think Cayden is going to be a little charmer! 

I first noticed it when we took our trip to Arizona and spent a day and night with my friend, Elaine, and her daughter, 8-year-old Brianna.  She was all over him and Jamison both. 

Most recently, we went to a birthday swim party for the son of my softball friends, Di and Johnny.  There were tons of little boys running around and playing in the pool, but Ashley and Bridget, two friendly 8-year-old girls, honed in on my little guy the second we got in the water.  Maybe it was his sweet ride - an inflatable police car - or his cool shades that attracted them,

but they swam straight up to us and begged me to let them push him around.  I was hesitant at first, but before I could say "Be careful!", Cayden giggled at them and off they went. 

I tried not to hover right on top of them, but I wanted to stay close enough so that I could catch him if he flipped over somehow.  The girls took turns pushing him all over the pool for a good 15 or 20 minutes and I don't think Cayden stopped smiling the whole time!  They are going to be great babysitters in a couple years!

Ladies love cool Cayd

In other news, the boys are having a slumber party tonight: 

We moved Cayden's crib into Jamison's room.  Although we have central air conditioning, during the summer, our top level (where both boys' rooms are) gets so hot no matter how low we set the thermostat.  We have a portable air conditioning unit (thank you, Sue and Brad!) that we used in Jamison's room last year to cool it down on hot nights, so instead of buying (and storing) another one, we're giving this arrangement a whirl.  We'll see how it goes and if it works, we'll keep them together for the rest of the summer.  It's not an ideal layout, so we'll probably move Cayden back to his room once fall rolls around.

Speaking of things not being ideal, Jason leaves for Egypt again tomorrow (well, technically I guess it's later today since I've been typing past midnight).  He'll be gone another 60 days and although no one is looking forward to it, I think it'll be easier on me and the boys this time since we can finally get out of the house whenever we want.  We'll miss you, Daddy!

"Wow! A giant preemie!"

This post is just going to be so full of good news!  So many things have happened over the past couple of weeks!

Up until yesterday, I would have said the best news was that Jason came home from Egypt on May 10th, but we got some pretty momentous news at Cayden's 18-month check up yesterday afternoon.  After a thorough exam, Dr. Rosenberg pronounced that Cayden no longer has any restrictions, meaning he is healthy enough to go out and interact and play and visit and see the world outside our house!  Walking out of that hospital, I felt like what it must feel like when a prisoner gets released from jail after an 18-month sentence!  WE'RE FREE!!  SWEET FREEDOM!!!  WE CAN FINALLY LIVE A NORMAL LIFE!!!

I was afraid that maybe our freedom would only be until the fall when cold and flu and RSV season is back, but Dr. Rosenberg said, no, he doesn't have to be isolated again this winter - he is healthy enough to be able to fight off any of those infections without major complications.  He still recommends that Cayden get a flu vaccine, but he won't need the monthly RSV vaccines anymore.  Hallelujah!!  I'm sure our insurance company is pretty happy about that news too, considering those vaccines cost roughly $4000 each.  Of course this probably means that he's going to be sick quite a bit, but all kids have to get these childhood bugs at some point and as long as he's strong enough to fight them off like a normal kid with just a cold, I can deal with that!

When Dr. Rosenberg first walked into the exam room, he just said, "Wow!  A giant preemie!"  You'd have to know his personality and have heard the intonation in his delivery to appreciate how hilarious it was to hear him say that.  He was just amazed at how healthy Cayden is and how plump and "normal" he looks for a preemie who was born at 25 weeks.  He went on about how the nurses would never recognize him and that no nurse would ever pick him out as having been a preemie.  He weighed 23 lbs. 6 oz. yesterday which puts him at the 50th percentile for 18-month old babies, which is amazing!!  My heart is just overflowing with happiness at how far he has come and how he seems to have come through this ordeal seemingly unscathed.  We are so lucky and joyful and although neither Jason nor I is very religious, I'd have to say we are so grateful to whatever higher power allowed this to have such a happy outcome.

And as if all that weren't enough good news to get at one doctor's appointment, we found out that he didn't have to get any vaccines that day - he'll get one last dose of Hepatitis A at his two year check up in November and then he'll be done until he's four years old.

Going back to my last blog post about Cayden starting to walk, his physical therapist, Deb, has had some serious concerns about Cayden possibly needing braces to help him walk properly.  He has always seemed to show a right-sided weakness, and this looked to be the case as he was learning to walk.  When he was using his toys or walkers to practice, he was sort of dragging his right leg with it turned out a little, Quasimodo style.  When he actually started walking on his own, he was all over the place - like a drunk sailor!  I wanted to tell myself that all toddlers are that clumsy and unstable, but a little voice inside me said maybe something's not right and that if having orthotics is the only visible issue we have to deal with given where Cayden started, then that would be a simple thing to live with. 

Deb first mentioned having him evaluated by an orthotics specialist back at the beginning of April.  She said there was no immediate rush to have him seen, and that maybe it would be better to give him a little time to try to work things out on his own.  I also wanted to wait to make such a big decision until Jason came home so he could be present at the evaluation as well.  So back in April, we made an appointment for an evaluation for May 14th. 

During the time between, Cayden went from cruising the furniture to pushing toys to walking on his own, but he still didn't seem quite right all the way until his PT appointment on May 10th.  By then, I was thinking it didn't look good and that he was for sure going to need braces.  But over the next four days, like the scene in Forrest Gump where he bursts out of his braces and starts running, that boy went from a totally awkward gait to breaking through and moving like a normal toddler!  So by the time the orthotics specialist saw him four days later at the appointment on May 14th, she flat-out said, "This kid looks like he's doing fine to me!"  and she did not recommend orthotics for him.  Again, we are thrilled at having overcome another hurdle!

He really has picked up steam in his walking adventures.  It seems like just a week ago, he was walking maybe 10% of the time and crawling the rest.  Now, I think it's more like he's crawling 10% of the time and walking the rest!  He still falls down a lot and still looks pretty tipsy, but he's so happy and loves showing off his new skill. 

Speaking of skills, he can also go up and DOWN the stairs!  He got 'up' a couple months ago, but 'down' seemed to not come as easily.  Then, all of a sudden about three weeks ago, he just got it.  Now, he races his brother up when it's time to go to bed, and he can come all the way down on his own too.

He's starting to pick up signs for words (he knows 'airplane', 'milk', and 'more') and he's saying more and more things that we're understanding as words for things.  He's been saying 'maaaa-ma', 'da-dee', 'at' (for 'cat'), and we're pretty sure we've heard the same sounds for 'thank you', 'airplane', 'dog' and a few other words too!  It's amazing how his physical and verbal skills are just exploding all of a sudden!

Once Daddy got home, we FINALLY took Cayden out to get his first haircut.  I was about to break down and put a barette of some sort in the poor boy's hair so he could see!  It was really crazy and out of control by the time we got it cut:

 He was not at all happy about the situation, and cried the entire time:

But he looked SO much better after it was all over!

Now that we've got the all clear to get out and about, we didn't waste any time taking Cayden on his first airplane ride. 

All buckled up and ready for takeoff!

We had a trip planned to visit my mom and grandma in Phoenix as soon as Cayden was able to fly and after Daddy came home from Egypt.  We left on May 15th and came home on the 19th.  It was the first time  Cayden got to meet his Grandma Elaine and GG Bea, and we're so happy we were finally able to get down there to see them.

 Sharing a snack with GG Bea

Playing with Grandma Elaine and Pillowduck

We stayed in a StayBridge Suites that had two bedrooms, a kitchen, and living area, and it was perfectly comfortable for us.  Plus, they had a pool, so Cayden got to go swimming for the first time.  He loved it!

And it was pretty fun playing on the luggage rack too!

We got to see the boys' Great Aunt Kathy and Great Uncle Joe too, as well as a few of my old friends from the area.  We spent our last night at my dear friend, Elaine's house. Both boys had fun being pampered and spoiled with attention from Elaine's daughter, 8-year-old Brianna, and they loved playing with her toys!

Miraculously, Cayden was the only one who didn't come down with some sort of illness during the trip!  I had a horrible sore throat by day two of our vacation, and was sick as a dog the rest of the trip.  Jason had a stomach bug for two days, and even Jamison scared us by throwing up one morning.  Who would have thought that little Cayden would be the toughest of the bunch?!

Me!  That's who!

We are so excited to take Cayden places and do 'normal' kid things with him, finally!  Simple things, like going to the playground and swinging on swings (which we did for the first time this past Sunday), or going to watch a softball game (which we did last night!), mean so much to us now!

He's walking!!

This afternoon, Cayden caught me by surprise when he toddled all the way across the living room to where I was standing by the front door!  He had a balloon in his hand and a big ol' open-mouth smile on his face and it took me a second to realize, "Hey!  He just WALKED!!"  He's still much more comfortable crawling, but I think he's on his way now!

Two steps forward and the March for Babies

Cayden took his first couple of steps!  He first did it a couple of weeks ago during a physical therapy session, where the therapist was trying to encourage him to 'cruise' between the main part of the couch and the chaise part that comes off of the main part at a 90 degree angle.  He turned toward the chaise, let go of the couch, and took one, then another unassisted step toward the chaise before grabbing hold of it.  There were two therapists working with him that day and we all looked at each other with wide eyes before I finally said, "Did he just take his first steps?!" and ran to get the video camera.  Of course after that, he didn't do it anymore.

About a week later, he did it again, this time in front of me and one of our nannies, in the kitchen.  I grabbed the camera (which happened to be right there on the kitchen counter) and switched it to video mode, ready to capture the moment, but he just plopped down on the floor and played with a dust bunny or something.

He's been getting a lot of practice by using his 'walker'.  We have two kiddie chairs - the plastic outdoor type - that are stacked together and hanging out in the living room.  They just so happen to be the perfect height where Cayden can grab hold of the arm rests and walk around, pushing the two chairs all over the smooth wooden floor.  It cracks me up!  He really MOVES when he uses them, and he looks like a little old man pushing his bright red custom walker.  I have a video of it that I'll have to see if I can upload here.  (It's uploading to YouTube as I type, so once it's done, I'll try to put it on here.)

Of course I can't wait for him to walk - it will be such a huge milestone for him!  But what will make me really happy is if he waits about 10 more days so that Jason will be home and we can all celebrate the event together.

In other news, both boys had a wicked case of some sort of stomach bug that lasted two full weeks.  Thankfully, it ended a couple weeks ago, but it was pure hell for 14 days.  My Grandma Lena came to visit smack in the middle of it, and for the first few days of her visit, they couldn't enjoy any of the yummy goodies she brought with her (BRAT diet only for those poor boys!)  Nonna did a wonderful job comforting both boys and I'm so glad she was here to help us through that tough time.

Cayden has been showing interest in using a spoon and loves to try.  He might actually get some food in his mouth if you help him get it from the bowl, but given free reign over both the spoon and the bowl, what you end up with is a giant mess! 

He hasn't had a bottle in a couple weeks now and has been doing all of his drinking from a sippy cup, so that's exciting!  I am SO happy not to have to wash all those Dr. Brown's bottles and parts anymore!  AmyJo, our occupational therapist, said today that he's closing the gap on his fine motor skills to the point where he's almost caught up to where he should be for his actual age and may not need these services for much longer.  So what that means is that he's doing things a typical 17-18 month old would do (his actual age) and is way beyond what a 14 month old (his adjusted age) would be doing.  Now we just have to work on his gross motor skills...

Which reminds me...a couple weeks ago, the physical therapist mentioned that it looks like Cayden is still weak on his right side and may need braces for his legs to help him learn to walk properly.  We have a meeting with an orthotics specialist on May 14th to get her opinion and then if needed, have him fitted for leg braces.  I'm sad that he may have to deal with this little inconvenience, but if this is the only thing he has to overcome, I'll be thrilled.  Given where he started in life, I'm amazed this may be all we have to deal with.

And finally, some exciting news!  The March of Dimes March for Babies was this past Saturday.  Our team raised over $1800 thank to the generosity of  friends and family.  A big thank you to those who donated on behalf of Team Cayden Ferguson!  We had a beautiful day (despite what early weather forecasts were saying) and it was so nice to see some friends and support a great cause.

Team Cayden Ferguson - Jessica, Bridget, Patrik, Kathy, Christa, Becky, Laura with Morgan in front and Jamison and Cayden in the stroller.

20/20

Last Friday, Cayden had his one year follow-up visit with the opthamologist.  Preemies have something like a 20% chance that there will be some sort of early, profound vision problems, but this seems to be another bullet we have dodged.  He shows no signs of impaired vision or misalignment issues like lazy eye or cross eyes and Dr. Enzenauer says we are good to go for another year before we have to follow up with him.  Once again, we are so thankful.

For those that haven't heard, we've had some crazy, warm, dry, windy weather here in Denver.  March is usually our snowiest month and we haven't had a single flake all month.  Temperatures have been in the 70's most of the month and are supposed to climb into the mid-80s this weekend.  The wind has been absolutely insane many days this month as well, but we've been trying to get out every day to go for a walk and enjoy the sunshine.  That was our routine, at least, until a major forest fire broke out this past Monday afternoon in the foothills west of town.  Although we live on the far southeastern side of town, the smoke and ash from the fire has been a problem.  The first couple of days it was so bad, you couldn't walk to the mailbox and back without coming home smelling like you'd been sitting next to a campfire for hours.  There was an advisory posted warning people to stay indoors through Tuesday of this week, but I think that has been dropped.  They are still advising some people to not go outside: the very young, the very old, and anyone with cardiac or respiratory issues.

Because Cayden has chronic lung disease (albeit a mild case from what we were last told), I've been avoiding taking him outside since the fire started on Monday.  Today was such a beautiful day, and you couldn't see or smell any smoke in our neighborhood, so I was just dying to go out for a walk.  Just to be safe, I called Dr. Rosenberg's office to get their advice on the matter.  No joy - they said because of his issues, and especially because he had a bit of croup a couple weeks ago, he should not go outside until the fire is out. 

I really want to whine and cry and stomp my feet in cabin fever frustration, but when I think about what other people have lost because of this fire (EVERYTHING, their homes, their lives...), I get over myself.  It sucks to be cooped up inside when it's so nice out, but at least we still have our home to be cooped up in.

Marching for Babies

Later next month, I will be participating in the March of Dimes March for Babies, a three mile walk and fundraiser.  I wanted to do it last year, but we had just brought Cayden home from the hospital a few weeks earlier and life was totally chaotic, so I promised myself that I would do it this year.

The March of Dimes has funded research that without a doubt saved Cayden's life and I feel like it's the least I can do to try to help raise money for their efforts.

Jason will still be out of town, so I'll be bringing both boys with me, pushing the double BOB stroller, and walking with several friends on our team, Cayden Ferguson.

I haven't done any fundraising in a long time - probably since I hocked Girl Scout cookies thirty-some years ago - and things have changed a lot since then.  It's all online and electronic which makes it easy in a lot of ways, but also somewhat impersonal.

Alas, that is the point of this whole March, so if you follow the blog and could find it in your heart to make a donation, I, Cayden, and millions of other babies would be most grateful!  You can use the link below...
Donate to the March of Dimes in honor of Cayden

Thank you!

Homecoming anniversary

It was one year ago today that we brought Cayden home for the first time after 111 days in the NICU.  It seems so long ago and I can't even digest all that's happened in this past year.  All I know is I never imagined we'd get here in such good shape!

I think Cayden wanted to celebrate by forcing me to take him to see Dr. Rosenberg, his current pediatrician and one of the attending neonatologists while at the NICU.  It all started last night when Cayden got pretty fussy at dinner.  He didn't eat much then just started crying.  Jason took him upstairs and checked his temperature - 99.5 - so he gave him a dose of Tylenol.  Since he's cutting two molars, we figured his teeth were hurting.  He was still very fussy for the next hour or so until we could get him to bed, but amazingly, he slept through until 5:30.  He usually doesn't wake up until around 8, but I wasn't surprised he was up that early.  Since he didn't eat much for dinner, I thought hunger woke him.  His temperature was up to 100.5 and although he drank a whole bottle of milk and ate a bit for breakfast, he was still pretty fussy.  More Tylenol didn't seem to help.

Today was the day Jason left for two months in Cairo.  I had to take him to the airport, so after breakfast, all four of us loaded up in the car for the ride.  I thought Cayden would sleep in the car, but he didn't.  We dropped Daddy off, said our tearful goodbyes, then the three of us headed home.  Once we got in the house, the non-stop crying began.  He would not eat, he wouldn't sleep, he was absolutely inconsolable.  The only way I could settle him down was to hold him, and then sometimes even that didn't help.

The home health nurse was scheduled to come to the house to give him his last dose of Synagis (the RSV vaccine) this afternoon, but since he wasn't feeling well, I wasn't sure if we should still do it or not.  I called and spoke to a nurse at the Special Care Clinic and she advised us not to give him the vaccine and that it sounded serious enough that I should bring him in to be seen.  She said it sounded like maybe he had an ear infection and since it was Friday, she didn't think it was wise to wait it out over the weekend.  Apparently Dr. Rosenberg wasn't seeing patients today, but the nurse paged him to ask his advice and he said he'd come down from his office and see Cayden at 2:45.  I really appreciated that.

So after a few more hours of inconsolable crying, the three of us (I had to bring Jamison along since I'm now a pseudo-single mom as of 10:00 this morning) loaded back up into the truck and headed to Children's Hospital.  Dr. Rosenberg examined him and diagnosed him as having a viral infection (most likely para influenza) with a touch of croup.  I was panicked at the mention of him having croup again after our experience being hospitalized for it last fall.  Hopefully, now that he's five months older and stronger, it won't be as severe.  The really strange thing is that aside from a slight fever, being fussy, and not eating well, he's really not showing any signs of being sick (no runny nose, no cough, no sneezing.  The "croupy" noise comes when he inhales while crying, and I never even noticed it.)

Anyway, he got a dose of steroids at the office and we were told to keep him hydrated, control any pain with Ibuprofen, and to run a cool mist humidifier in his room at night.  They sent us home with a prescription for another dose of steroids if he gets worse but said one dose usually does the trick.  He napped briefly in the late afternoon, ate a decent dinner and drank a good bit of milk before falling asleep around 9 tonight - I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he'll sleep through the night and kick this bug soon.  It's going to be a looooong 60 days without Daddy if there are many more like today.

Happy adjusted first birthday!

Today is the day we should have been celebrating Cayden's first birthday - one year after his due date.  Instead, he's been with us for 1 year, 3 months, 1 week, and 2 days.  This is supposed to be the magic day when Cayden should be past most of the major hurdles and issues he faced as a preemie, namely, his immune system is supposed to be mature and caught up by now.  But the fact that it's smack in the middle of cold/flu/RSV season means, per our doctor's advice, we are still going to stay in hiding until later this spring.  Hopefully, we'll have our freedom back and be able to get out of the house and be more social sometime around the end of April/beginning of May.

We have another reason to look forward to the beginning of May.  Jason accepted a new job training pilots for a Canadian company that contracts with airlines all over the world.  His first assignment is in Cairo, Egypt and he is scheduled to leave sometime around March 10th.  He will be gone 60 days then should be home for 20-30 days, so that will have him home sometime around the second week in May.  I'm not thrilled with him being gone for so long, but when you do the math, he's gone just as many days in the same time span at his current job.  The volatile location worries me too, but it's better than his other choice, which was Afghanistan.  He has several friends who have been flying these gigs for a couple of years, and they've tried recruiting him before, but we are just now reaching the place where I feel like I should be able to handle things with him gone that long.  There is no way we could have done it a year ago, or even six months ago.  The money is excellent and it will help us catch up on what we've lost with my not working. The bummer is that I definitely won't be going back to work with him gone that much. The plan is to try it for a year or two, then take the money and run. Neither of us wants to live that kind of lifestyle for very long.

Even though things are much easier now than they were a year ago, I'm not sure how it's going to go being a single mom of two under two.  We're trying to get things in order so that I have help from a nanny a couple days a week so that I can cook, shop, run errands, cut the grass, pay the bills - all the things that need to be done to run a household but that you can't exactly get done with two toddlers always needing attention. 

Speaking of nannies, we've been so happy with our new nanny, Kelly.  She's been helping me just one day a week for the past month or so, but I'm going to need more help than she can give once Jason leaves (she also works for another family and is enrolled in college classes).  So I guess I need to get back to the nanny search to see if I can find someone else who can supplement when Kelly isn't available.  I'm dreading the task because it seems that besides Kelly, most of the people I've contacted about nannying are either psycho or totally flaky and unreliable.

So to get back to Cayden and his big pseudo-birthday . . . it will still take him a couple of years to catch up completely on developmental milestones, but for now, he's right on track with where a one year old should be.  He's crawling like a speed demon!  It's so funny to watch his little butt wiggle side to side as he speeds across the room.  (I need to get a video of that to put on here.)  He's cruising the furniture a little more and I think taking his first steps will be coming soon.  He's learning to use his sippy cup at mealtimes and isn't so interested in the bottle anymore.  He gets really forceful when he doesn't want it anymore and he'll push it away so hard that sometimes he knocks it out of your hand!

He's also going through a phase (at least I HOPE it's just a phase!) where he screams and cries and wakes up in the middle of the night several times.  We've had a few nights these past couple of weeks where we've been up most of the night trying to get him back to sleep - holding, rocking, giving him Tylenol thinking maybe his teeth are painful, rubbing his back, but as soon as you think he's asleep and tiptoe out of the room, he shrieks and gets all worked up again.  The last couple of days he's also been screaming and crying when you lie him down for a nap or at bedtime.  I think I finally figured out that he's playing us, and if you just let him cry, he'll usually pass out within a few minutes.  Smart little sucker!

He got his first molar a couple weeks ago and number two is about to pop through any day.  He really needs a haircut, but I don't want to cut it myself - I want to take him to one of those kiddie places so someone else can do the work and I can take pictures.  But we can't take him until May-ish, so he's going to be one long haired hippie boy for a couple more months!

Letting go

Cayden seems to have had a surge in developmental achievements here lately.  He switched from army crawling to regular crawling a couple of weeks ago and hasn't looked back.  You have to watch that little guy - he is FAST!  Sometimes I'll set him down on the floor and try to make my way over to close off a baby gate at the top of a set of stairs but he crawls faster than I can walk so I end up having to run and trip over him to get there before he goes headfirst down the stairs.

He's just starting to cruise the furniture (where he pulls himself up onto his feet then moves along the edge of whatever it is he's holding onto) and today, during his OT session, he let go two different times for a second or two each time.

We had a visit with the Tri-County home health nurse yesterday.  She's been coming once a month since Cayden came home from the hospital almost a year ago.  She weighs and measures him, does a quick physical exam, and assesses his gross motor, fine motor, problem solving, and communication development periodically with a questionnaire called the ASQ.  Since her last visit, he gained almost two pounds!  His weight is up to 21 lbs. 10.7 oz. and he is between the 25th and 50th percentiles for his adjusted age's weight and height.  He is meeting all of the goals for his adjusted age and she's thrilled with his progress.  So thrilled, in fact, that we decided it's probably not necessary to have her come any more.  I've always looked forward to her visits just to have that monthly reassurance that he's doing o.k., but now we're letting go of that security blanket. 

Cayden will see Dr. Rosenberg at the Special Care Clinic on Friday this week for his 15 month check up and vaccinations.  We haven't been there in over two months, so I'm sure they're going to be impressed with how big he's gotten!  After this visit, I don't think we'll have to go back until he's 18 months old, so that'll be a three month stretch without any medical check ups. 

While it's so exciting that we're finally getting to the point where we no longer have to be so concerned about every little thing with Cayden, it's hard to get used to the idea.  I know he's doing well and will continue to thrive and gain ground on his developmental achievements, but after 15 months of having every little thing scrutinized, measured, debated, and basically decided for us, it's hard to let go of that professional guidance.

We've settled into a routine where Cayden eats all three meals with us in his high chair and he's eating pretty much everything we do.  I don't think I've found a food he won't eat!  We're still working on getting him to use a sippy cup, and for now, we're giving him three bottles of milk a day, one after each of his meals.  When we give him the sippy cup with his meal, he gets so distracted with it, he doesn't eat.  Once he gets the sippy cup down, that'll be another big milestone.

Cayden has a new favorite pastime:  picking his nose.  One finger, two fingers, one hand or the other, that boy always seems to have a digit up his nostril!  I'm sure he'll be the one we have to take to the ER to have a marble or something removed.  But he's still cute.  See for yourself:

Tapeworm?

Don't be frightened - I don't really think Cayden has a tapeworm, but MAN that kid is putting away the food lately!  Under advice from our occupational therapist and dietitian, we are upping the amount of solid food he gets in a day and cutting back on the milk.  Ideally, he should be eating three meals and two snacks with a maximum of 24 ounces of milk a day .  Just a week ago, we had him drinking about 31 ounces of milk and only eating what could be considered a couple snacks and I think he's making up for lost calories!  He's sitting in a high chair now (thanks to the Ericssons for loaning us their old one so we didn't have to buy another one since Jamison is still using his for the time being) and we can't slice, dice, tear, and feed him the food fast enough.  He double-fists things into his mouth.  Half ends up in the pocket in his bib and half makes it in his mouth.  We recycle the stuff in the bib and he eventually gets that down too.  The dietitian said a "meal" for him would be about 1/4 of what an adult would eat.  I swear he's eating about half of the amount I'd eat!  It'll be interesting to see what he weighs at his 15-month check up in February.  As of January 13th, he was 19 pounds 14.5 ounces.

In other developmental news, I think he's finally catching on to the benefits of real crawling.  For quite awhile now, he's been "army crawling" - where he pulls himself forward with his forearms and sort of drags and kicks his legs behind him.  Starting about two weeks ago, we'd see him crawl a few steps, but he'd only go a few steps then flop down on his belly.  He gets around pretty quickly using his unconventional method, but not quite quickly enough to keep up with his brother.  In the last day or two he's been crawling a lot farther and more often.  Hopefully he'll convert over to all crawling here soon.

He's also figured out how to pull himself up on things.  First he gets on his knees, then he pops up to standing, leaning on his activity table, on your leg, on his crib, on the edge of the bathtub - whatever he can find.  Getting back down is another story... 

He's had a cold for almost two weeks now.  Thankfully, it never got really bad, but there were a couple of nights where his nose was so stuffy that he couldn't breathe and hence, didn't sleep well at night.  And once again, he's teething like a drooling madman at the same time.  My guess is that the stress of teething lowers his immunity a little and makes him susceptible to the tiniest exposure to a cold bug.  So on top of having a cold, he's miserable because his mouth hurts.  Poor little guy.

Two weeks ago, we ended our relationship with Jamison's daycare provider.  We had hoped that Cayden would be able to join him there in April, but the spot that was open that we hoped would be his was taken by another infant.  Jason has been home since this change happened, so we've been able to manage the transition up until now, but we're looking at having a nanny come to our home one or two days a week to help out when he's gone for long stretches of time.  Having both boys home full time is going to be a challenge, but I hope that things will continue to get easier so that I can take care of both of them, meet their needs, and keep them entertained and reasonably happy all day, every day!

All I want for Christmas is my four front teeth

Well, four front teeth, and to be home with all four of our family members under one roof for Christmas.  That's what I wanted, and that's what I got - and then some.

I am about to tear into this present!

It was such a different, joyous, sensory Christmas compared to last year's numbness and anxiety:  smelling cinnamon rolls baking in the oven, hearing both boys giggling and squealing and ripping paper off of presents, watching them play with their new toys (or in Cayden's case, eat the paper they were wrapped in), feeling both boys crawl all over me in an attempt to get in my lap.  There's nothing like it in the world!

Three days before Christmas, we got a ton of snow.  It hadn't melted much by Christmas Eve, so we took the boys out for a spin around the block.  We pulled Jamison in his little sled and pushed Cayden in the stroller.  Jamison had a good time, but Cayden fell asleep.  That evening, I made my first attempt at making homemade pizza.  It turned out pretty good, and that's what we had for dinner.  I'm trying to think of family traditions we can start that the boys will look forward to and enjoy for years and years to come.  Food has always been a central theme in my family, and I have so many good memories of meals associated with holidays.  With two under two, I don't think I'm ready to take on preparing the feast of the seven fishes on Christmas Eve or sarma (stuffed cabbage) and torte on Christmas Day, but for now, homemade pizza is something I can do!  We had ham on Christmas Day, but eventually, I'd like to make fondue our Christmas Day tradition.  We had it two years ago, the year Jamison was born, but it's a lot of work and it won't really be appropriate for the boys for a few more years.

Another tradition I hope to continue is going out to look at Christmas lights.  We bundled the boys up and took them around the neighborhood on Christmas night.  It was cold, but I think they enjoyed it.

Ready to go see some Christmas lights in the neighborhood

 Along with all of the holiday merriment lately, we've had lots of happy developmental happenings.  A couple weeks ago, Cayden achieved two big milestones in the same day:  he started holding his own bottle during feedings and he began pushing himself up to a sitting position from laying down. 

Holding my own bottle!

Within the past week, he started pushing himself up on all fours.  Jason and I both swear we saw him crawl a few steps, but it was on the bare floor and I think the smoothness of the floor helped him sort of slide his legs along so it just looked like he was crawling.  Either way, I don't think it'll be long before he really is full-on crawling!

Physically, he is a chunk!  He's got to be 20 pounds by now.  His last weigh-in was December 8th and he was 19 lbs. 8 oz. then.  His hair is getting sort of long and now I'm not sure if it's going to be light or dark.  I used to think it was going to be dark, but now it almost looks light, like Jamison's.  It is definitely curly when it's wet, but after he sleeps on it, it gets all whacked out and just sort of looks fluffy.  He's been shaking his head "no" and loves to go back and forth with Jamison when Jami imitates him doing it.  He's also more vocal, making his wants known with grunts, yells, and shrieks.  He likes to laugh and does a lot of plain old babbling.  Today, we think he said "da-da" when Jason walked in the room!     

Within the past week, we completed the transition from formula to whole milk, so now we don't have to mess with mixing, measuring, and making up formula (not to mention all the money we'll save!)  He no longer has any thickener added to his milk - one less thing to measure, add, and shake up.  He no longer needs his reflux medicine - no more phone calls and trips to the pharmacy every 28 days; no more having to force medicine down his throat; no more having to torture him by making him wait 20 minutes after taking his medicine before giving him his first bottle of the day; no more having to pay for said medicine.  Because he is sitting up and using his core muscles so much, his reflux is much more under control, so we no longer have to hold him upright for a half hour after each feeding.  He still spits up a little here and there, but it's nothing like it was.  Life gets easier every day and I am so relieved!  There IS light at the end of this long preemie tunnel!

Merry Christmas!

Blood pressure check

Just a quick update to let everyone know that Cayden's blood pressure was normal at his doctor visit today.  They checked it in both arms just to be sure and Dr. Rosenberg said it's all good and we don't have to worry about it anymore.  WHEW!! 

And he weighed in at 19 lbs. 6 oz.  :-)

So much to be thankful for

We had a houseful here for Thanksgiving, and while it was pretty stressful and at times chaotic, all in all, it was worth it.

My dad, step mom, little sister, grandma, and cousin all came to visit and stayed with us for varying amounts of time.  Gruncle Don and Graunt Kay had to cancel at the last minute due to a plumbing disaster in their home the night before they were supposed to travel, and they were sorely missed.  The best part was that Cayden and Jamison got to see family they haven't see in too long (or never, in some cases!)

With Nonna Lena

Sitting at the Thanksgiving table with big brother Jamison and Aunt Vickie

I loved meeting my Aunt Vickie!

With Grandpa Ray, Popo Xian, and Aunt Vickie

Thanksgiving dinner was a success, and although Cayden didn't have any of the adult food, he was a big part of the celebration.  Hands down, he is the biggest thing I am thankful for this year!

Aside from the excitement of company, over the past couple weeks, Cayden has been through a lot.  He had a bit of a cough after his birthday, but when we visited Dr. Rosenberg a few days later for his one year check up, he said he wasn't concerned about it.  At that check up, Cayden got four vaccines.  That night, he didn't sleep very well, not totally unexpectedly.  The next day, he seemed to come down with a full-on cold.  We thought (hoped) it was just a reaction to the vaccines, but as it turned out, it was more than that and the runny nose, coughing, sneezing, fussiness, and poor sleeping lasted over a week. 

Just about the time he started recovering from the cold, he spiked a fever for a day.  I looked at the calendar:  it was eight days since he had the vaccines.  A light went off in my head, so I looked at the paperwork they gave me at the doctor's office.  Sure enough, two of the vaccines, MMR (measles/mumps/rubella) and varicella (chicken pox) said they may have delayed reactions 7-10 days afterwards.  Symptoms may include fever (check), fussiness (check), decreased appetite (check), and a rash may develop (check).  The rash lasted a few days, but the rest of the symptoms only lasted a couple, thank goodness.

And as if this weren't enough for my poor little guy to deal with, during this whole period, I think he also felt miserable from teething!  It looks like all four of his front teeth are coming in on top.  So far only one has come through, but I think the rest of them will pop through any day.  It sure is rough being one!

Although things have been tough for Cayden, things have been getting easier for mom and dad.  We weaned him off of Simply Thick a couple weeks ago, so no more messing with that!  He had his last dose of Prilosec this past weekend, so that's one less thing to worry about.  Now that he's sitting up a lot, his reflux is subsiding, and even without the thickener or medication, he hasn't been spitting up very much.  Amen for that!  We're in the process of transitioning to whole milk instead of formula, so in a couple more weeks, we won't have to deal with mixing that up anymore - just pour straight from the gallon jug!  Not to mention how much our pocketbook will appreciate not having to buy $150+ of formula every month...

We'll be seeing Dr. Rosenberg again tomorrow.  He wants to check Cayden's blood pressure - apparently, it's been elevated for some time.  He said this happens sometimes with preemies, but they'll want to do some tests if it is still elevated.  So I guess we'll see how it goes.

Happy Birthday!!

Saturday, November 19th, 2011, was Cayden's first birthday.  I can't believe we made it.  In some ways, it seems like ten years, but in other ways, it's gone by so fast.  I think I lean more toward the feeling like ten years, though.  The (permanent?) bags under my eyes, the ten extra pounds on my belly, and the multitude of grey hairs on my head support that theory! 

The day before and the day of his birthday, I was constantly watching the clock, thinking back to what was happening at that time one year ago.  Doing so brought about many tears - of happiness, relief, amazement - and a couple of anxiety attacks.  I've heard that some parents of preemies can suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I can understand why.  When I think about what I went through, it brings back those feelings of  "How am I going to get through this?  How are we going to make this work?  What is Cayden's long-term outcome going to be?"  I think back to the blog entry I made months ago about juggling (See When Daddy's Away from 1/20/11.).  I feel now like I'm rid of so many of those heavy and awkward items I was juggling - now I'm down to just juggling, say, maybe three 8-pound bowling balls.  I can do that!

So on with the details about Cayden's big day!  He woke up in a good mood, as always.  Had a nice breakfast of apples, yogurt, and formula before playing with the new presents we and his Grammy Janene and Poppa Dan got him:  a toy cell phone, a Winkel ball, a Crawl Along Snail, and some pop beads.  Jamison had lots of fun showing him how to use all of them.  After another bottle and a nice long nap, we got ready for our guests.  Although we wanted to celebrate with the world for our accomplishment, we kept the gathering very small to keep Cayden's exposure to germs limited.  Besides Jason, Jamison, and me, it was just a few of our closest friends:  Laura, Becky, and Jim. 

I made a yummy "Secret Chocolate Cake" with marshmallow butter cream icing.  The secret was that it was made with two cups of pureed beets!  (You really can't tell!  The beets make it nice and moist, kind of like zucchini does for some baking recipes.)

Of course since he's only 8.5 months adjusted age, he had no idea what to do with the candles, so big brother and Mommy helped him blow them out.  But when it came to eating the cake, he figured that out right away!

Going in for the kill



The aftermath

 He really didn't make much of a mess of himself and he finished off the whole piece we gave him.  (Must be trying to bulk up for his one-year weigh-in on Tuesday!)  Oh, that reminds me...he had his first RSV shot of the season on Friday.  The nurse weighed him and he was 19 pounds on the nose!  I can't believe how BIG he is!  I mean, Jamison is only 25 pounds and a year older.  Absolutely amazing!

So back to the party...Cayden played with his balloon and entertained our guests for awhile, showing off his sitting-up-for-minutes-at-a-time skills, before everyone left. 

It was a happy, emotional day and we're just overwhelmed with joy and love for our little man.  Celebrating this milestone also made me think back and remember all the help we got from friends and family to get us to this point.  We can't thank everyone enough for all they've done and know that we couldn't have done it without your love, support, prayers, and good thoughts.

World Prematurity Day

"Honor the million babies worldwide who died this year because they were born too soon, and the 12 million more who struggle to survive. November 17 is World Prematurity Day and when we focus everyone’s attention on the serious problem of premature birth." (March of Dimes' website)

Seeing as how today is the day set aside to honor preemies and their caregivers, I thought I should post a little something.  How about a picture of those two new teeth Cayden is sporting?

He's really enjoying his cereal--can you tell??

He's also been "picking up" on picking up bits of finger food:  puffs, Cheerios, little pieces of bread or banana.  Apparently he's meeting his fine-motor skills milestone, seeing as how he double fists stuffing food in his mouth!

Trick or Treat!

A little late, but I wanted to share a picture from Cayden's first Halloween...

It was a surprisingly mild evening - 50 degrees or so by the time we got out the door - so we decided to take Cayden with us trick or treating.  We put him in the stroller and headed out with Jamison on foot, but Cayden didn't last long.  I don't know if it was all the noise or the other kids' costumes, but he cried pretty much from the minute we got started.  Jason ended up taking him back home and leaving him with our dear friend, Laura, who came over to hand out candy for us so we could both go out with the kids.  Jason came back out to meet up with Jamison and me going door to door, and Laura said Cayden did just fine during the hour or so we were gone.  Hopefully next year he'll enjoy it more!