Pardon the huge gap between entries

Holy moly.  I can't believe it's been almost four months since I last posted something in here!  Bad mommy.  Busy mommy!  Does anyone still check in here and read this blog?!  I wouldn't blame you for giving up on checking in.

The kick in the butt to get back on here came from a conversation I had with my Grandma Lena (Nonna Lena to the boys) today on the phone.  She said something about how it's been so long since we've talked on the computer (I think she meant by Skype, which we do occasionally via my dad's (Grandpa Ray's) computer.  It reminded me that my dad and little sister (Aunt Vickie) will invite my grandma down to join in on those Skype sessions sometimes, and that they also show her whenever there are new entries and pictures on this blog.  Who am I to deny my 93-year-old grandma seeing pictures of her great-grandson?

I have to be honest, though:  tonight, I don't have the time to write or upload all the pictures I'd like to that will fill in the gaps with all we've done since the last blog entry. 

I promise I will try to get back here in the next day or two though.  For now, I'll leave you with a couple pictures from our trip to Keystone in July...

Getting cozy with Jamison in the bike trailer

Steering the paddle boat while Dad pedals and Mom and Jami feed the fish on Keystone Lake

Bungee trampolining!!!

Flying high and LOVING it!

The March for Babies 2013

Today was the second time we participated in the March of Dimes annual fundraiser, the March for Babies.  It was a gloriously beautiful day for our three mile walk, and we were so lucky to have seven adults, six under-three-year-olds, and one doggy named Daisy on our team this year.

Team Cayden Ferguson 2013 - Alecia, Bridget, Sarah, Laura, Carter, Robin, Jason, Christa,
Jonah in the snugglie and Gage, Sophie, Cayden, and Jamison in the strollers

 
Especially special was the fact that Jason was home this year and was able to join us.  We brought both boys and the stroller, but Cayden ended up walking about half of the course! His favorite part was giving high fives to the line of about a dozen volunteers who stood cheering along the side of the course.  Oh, and eating hot dogs and chips at the end of the walk, of course.  Always about the food!

Marching with Daddy

  

We took quite awhile to finish and straggled in after more than an hour of walking, but we managed to get some food and caught a glimpse of the story board I submitted that was hung in the family teams pavilion.  We missed out on the balloon artist and face painting, but the kids were happy nonetheless.

Partial team photo at the start/finish line

Cayden's story board

Thanks to contributions from so many friends and family members, I was able to reach my personal fundraising goal.  We fell slightly short of our team fundraising goal, but I still think we did very well overall, and I'm happy to say we were able to raise over $1600 for the March of Dimes!

 

Our team shirts said "Team Cayden Ferguson".
Cayden's shirt said "I am Cayden Ferguson!",
and Cayden says thank you to everyone who donated.

 

In other news, just after we got home from the March, Cayden said he wanted to go potty on the big potty - and he pooped on the potty!!  He loves sitting on the big potty with the Winnie the Pooh insert, or on the Elmo potty, or the other little potty we have for the boys.  Jason and I haven't really been pushing him to wear underwear or to go on the potty after the experience we've had with Jamison, but I think Cayden may be ready to be fully potty trained!  Amazing!

 

I don't think I ever mentioned the parent and tot gymnastics classes I took both boys to a few months ago.  It was once a week for four weeks, and it all happened during a time when Jason was out of town.  When I signed up for the class, they assured me I should be able to do it with only one parent and two tots.  Ha.  It was pure craziness!  It seemed to be 45 minutes of one or both of the boys either trying to run around the room and not listening to the instructor, not participating with the group, trying to run out the door and down the hall, or throwing a screaming, crying tantrum in the class.  There were a few moments where they had fun - when group time was over and they were allowed to run free around the room and do whatever obstacles they wanted.  They swung from bars, did back bends and somersaults, played with a nylon parachute and lots of colored balls, rolled down inclined mats, jumped on a mini trampoline, and generally burned a lot of energy.  After those first four weeks, I couldn't get them into the next class, but we found an open gym hour at a different recreation center nearby.  Jason and I took both boys to that open gym several times over the past few months he's been home and they've really enjoyed it.  We're starting another four week session of the parent and tot gymnastics class in May, and I hope it goes better than the last time!

 

Bouncing from one activity to another during open gymnastics time

 

 

We also finally signed the boys up for swimming lessons again.  Cayden will be in a 30-minute parent and me class once a week, four times a month, for as long as we want to keep going.  Jamison will be in a class on his own immediately after Cayden's class, so hopefully we'll get them swimming like fish soon.  We bought them some goggles to get them excited (like Cayden needs anything to get him more excited about going to the "simming poo!"), and they've been loving wearing them in the bathtub.

 

We finally found out that Jason will be leaving again, and soon.  This time, he'll be heading to Nigeria for two months, departing on April 30th.  We know the boys are going to miss him terribly since he's been home for so long this time, so we've been trying to prepare them.  Cayden has gotten really attached to his Daddy and does not like to divert from the routine.  If I take the boys somewhere without Jason, Cayden will scream and cry in the van the entire time, "DADDY!!  I want Daddy!!"  If Jason tries to sit in a different seat from his usual one when we are at the dinner table, Cayden gets really upset and says, "No!  Mommy's chair, Daddy!"  and refuses to eat until Jason sits in "his" chair.  I'm afraid what this giant change in his routine is going to do to him.  He's been behaving pretty well lately, and I think it's because he's getting lots of time with and attention from both of his parents.  It's going to be a long 60 days while Jason is gone!

 

 

 

 

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Second adjusted birthday

I just wanted to note the occasion that yesterday - February 28th, 2013 - was the day Cayden should have turned two.  Instead, he is 3 months, 1 week, and 2 days into his third year already.

Although he seems to be caught up on all of his other developmental milestones, I think he just got the memo about The Terrible Twos -- all of a sudden, within the last week, this boy is all about defiance and testing the limits!  He is no longer just babbling.  He is talking nonstop, very animated and sing-songy all the time, and his vocabulary has just exploded!  He's speaking in three-word sentences, but his new favorite thing to say is just one word:  NO!!!!!!!!!  It's driving Jason and me nuts, but because he's still so stinkin' cute, we haven't lost it with him yet!

We were able to get away as a family last week for a few days in the mountains in Keystone, Colorado.  I loved every minute of it even though it seemed like both boys hated every minute! 

Day 1:  Cayden, you'll need to sleep in your pack & play - NO!!!!! 

Sleeping in the big boy bed with Jamison

Let's go out to dinner.  It's cold out.  Put on your mittens - NO!!!!  Sit in this high chair -  NO!!!!!!! 

Day 2:  We tried ice skating - NO!!!  Tried pulling them on a sled behind me while I skated - NO!!!!! Cayden cried so hard and so long, he washed all the sunscreen off his cheeks and they got burned and chapped! 

Ooh, look at the nice, big horsies that are going to pull us on this wonderful sleigh ride up the mountain - WAAAAA!!!  PANIC ATTACK!!! 

Dinner in a yurt?  NO!!!!  Hot chocolate on the sleigh?  NO!  I WANT MY BINKY!!!

Day 3:  Snow tubing - NO!!!!  More crying and screaming and more sunburn/chapping. 

Despite how it sounds, there were a few tear-free, happy moments - riding in Daddy's truck instead of the minivan (the weather forecast said it was supposed to snow about 10" while we were there, so we moved the car seats into the 4-wheel drive Tundra and took that.  We barely saw a flurry the whole time we were there.  Figures.)  Both boys loved the indoor swimming pool, but once it was time to get out, it was more NO!!!!!!!!!!  Riding in the elevator and pushing all the buttons for every floor and the alarm was great fun apparently, too.  And Cayden loved climbing up on the ledge of the picture window in the condo.

A couple days after we got home to Denver, we got our biggest snowstorm of the winter.  Once again, we tried getting the boys out in it to have some fun, pulling them around the neighborhood in a sled, but were met with more screaming and crying and NO!!!!!!  Cayden did settle down a bit to help clear a path through the back yard.  He refused to put on a warmer coat, though.

We'll see how much more fun and adventure we can pack into the next few days before Jason heads out of the country again for two months.  He's going to Nigeria this time.  NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PTSD

What follows is something I wrote about two months ago, sometime in late November.  My intention was to edit it and then post a more relevant, less rambling revision here on this blog, hoping that getting it off my chest would make me feel better and make what I was feeling go away:

Hot, salty tears have streamed unstoppably down my cheeks more times than I can count over this past month.  So many emotions have been stirred up between National Prematurity Awareness Day, Cayden’s birthday, visiting the NICU, and sorting through all of my pictures for Cayden’s first year baby album.  I’m fairly certain I have some degree of post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of our experience, and I think it’s about time I look into how I can get help. 

Just looking at a picture from the early days in the NICU will set off a round of sobbing and crying that makes me want to curl up in a ball and hide. 

Hearing that unique, unforgettable ring tone of a nurse’s phone while visiting the NICU one afternoon set me off. 

I cried the entire day of November 18^th.  With every minute that passed, I couldn’t stop thinking about what was happening at that moment two years ago – sitting on the stairs, talking on the phone, about to leave the house to go get a pedicure.  My water breaking.  Reliving the ride to the doctor’s office, then to the hospital.  Finding out they had to induce me.  Hearing the grim statistics about babies who were born at 25 weeks and received only one dose of steroids before birth. 

All that, of course, leads to thinking about the panic that ensued when things got even worse and my doctor discovered the baby had a prolapsed cord that required immediate surgery.  Thinking about the doctor riding on top of me on the gurney as I was rushed to the OR, with her hand inside me, trying to hold the cord so it wouldn’t get pinched and cut off the baby’s lifeline in seconds.  I’m sobbing again just typing about it.

Soon after I put all those words on paper, Jason returned home from his third 2-month stint in Egypt.  The flurry of holiday activities commenced, so I never got around to posting it. The feelings of anxiety sort of got pushed down deeper and weren't surfacing as frequently, but I knew they were still there, and I knew I had to take the opportunity while Jason was home for a month to find a professional to talk to about it.

Finally, on December 14th, I met with Dr. Gratia Meyer and got confirmation of what I had suspected:  I have PTSD as a result of our NICU experience with Cayden. 

It's no wonder.  What I went through WAS traumatic.  It was one hundred and eleven days of worrying about our baby in the NICU, then another year after that living in fear of germs that could send us back to the hospital.  It wasn't until this past summer, once I started realizing that things really were going to be o.k., that Cayden was most likely going to have a normal life, that my brain could stop living in fight or flight/survival mode and had a chance to actually process what we had been through that I started having the symptoms of PTSD.  Up until then, I was too busy worrying and just trying to survive another day.  Once my brain was allowed to relax and venture back to all that had happened, it was like the TILT button went off on a pinball machine - it was too much to handle.

I had reservations about being diagnosed.  I was afraid someone would just want to prescribe some pills, tell me to come back once or twice a week to talk about it, and that would supposedly be enough to make it all go away.  I don't like taking medicine (not even ibuprofen for a headache - ask Jason!), and I still can't wrap my head around how talking to someone can make something better.  I'll talk to my friends or talk on this blog for free instead of paying a co-pay to talk to some stranger!

I think simply having a doctor confirm it made me feel better to some degree, although I'm by no means "over it". It will take time to deal with it and learn how to manage it, but with time, I hope I will be able to recall those traumatic memories without breaking down in tears. 

One nice thing about Dr. Meyer is that she takes a more holistic approach to brain chemistry.  Instead of prescribing a drug, she recommended several vitamins and supplements to try.  Despite my aversion to taking medicines, for some reason, I'm o.k. with taking "natural" pills and supplements.  5-HTP and GABA are two things she suggested, as well as taking omega-3, calcium, magnesium, and manganese supplements.  She also discussed dietary and nutritional changes I could make to help me feel better:  more protein, less sugar, no alcohol, no chocolate.  (I don't know how no chocolate is going to make me feel better, though, so I haven't given that one up!)

Without her telling me, I knew that I needed to get more sleep and to get regular exercise.  I really notice changes in my mood when I don't get enough sleep and when I don't get to exercise! 

I took her advice on most things and started taking a literal handful of supplements after my first appointment.  Although she said the effects of those things could take up to a month to reach their full potential, I swear I started feeling better within days.  But perhaps it was the holiday cheer, the fact that Jason was home and I was getting more sleep and a bit of exercise, that contributed to me feeling better so quickly?

I saw her two more times in December while Jason was still home.  We spent those appointments primarily talking about things.  Today was the first time I've seen her since Jason left on January 2nd.  I was afraid once he left, I would fall apart again, but I've been doing o.k.  I still have an occasional meltdown, but not as often as I was having them back in November.  At today's appointment, we did something called EMDR, or eye movement desensitization and reprocessing.  (For more detailed information on EMDR, check out this link.)

I guess my whole reason for this post is to share with others who may be feeling the same things and encourage them to seek help.  I can't say I feel 100% normal again, but I do feel better.

A great article about PTSD in preemie parents can be found on Graham's Foundation's website .

For more information on PTSD in general, check out Web MD .

Merry and white

We had a white Christmas here in Denver!  It was cold but beautiful and we couldn't have asked for more in a holiday...daddy was home with us, both boys are healthy, we had good food, gifts under the tree, phone calls and Skype to keep in touch with those we love but couldn't be with. 

Cayden LOVED the Little Tykes car Santa brought him, and he also enjoyed sneaking onto the drum kit that Santa brought for big brother Jamison. 

Merry Christmas to all who have followed our journey through this blog.  We hope your family is as happy and blessed as ours is!

In other news...

Time to catch up on all the other stuff that's happened (besides the big second birthday) since my last post...

I think I mentioned that Cayden has already had two colds this season.  Well, he got another one soon after that second one!  Throw in a short bout with a stomach bug, and I was afraid we should go back to isolation for the rest of the fall and winter!  Once again, the fact that Jamison also shared these same illnesses made me feel better about Cayden's immune status, so we're not on lock down - yet.

I started going to a MOPs (Mothers Of Preschoolers) group in September.  It's a great opportunity to socialize with other moms, and because they provide daycare, the boys get a change of scenery and get to socialize too.  I was worried Cayden wouldn't go for it, but surprisingly, he hasn't been the problem child - it's been Jamison who's cried so long and so hard that I had to go retrieve him and leave the meeting early!  Cayden cries when I drop him off, but before too long, he stops and I think he actually has fun with the other little ones.  

A few weeks ago, I also signed the boys up for daycare at the gym.  Considering I was paying a nanny about thirty bucks each time I wanted to go work out for an hour, it was a deal!  I'm paying about thirty dollars a month for both boys, and they can go for two hours a day every day of the month!  They have a great big, fun-filled area to play in, so I figured they'd love it.  Ha.  Sounds great in theory, but I haven't gotten to work out for more than ten minutes yet.  The first time we went, the Kids Club closed five minutes after I got them signed in.  Cayden was crying when I left him but was happy and smiling when I came back five minutes later.  The second time we went, Cayden screamed and cried the whole ten minutes I left him there, so they had to page me to come get him.  We're going to have to work on this because mommy really needs to get back in the exercise groove! 

Cayden saw Dr. Rosenberg the day after his birthday for his two year check up and was given a clean bill of health!  He weighed 26 pounds, which is in the 25th percentile for his actual (not adjusted!) age.  We are beyond happy with that, especially considering that's right about where Jamison has always been.  Everything else looked good and I was once again assured by the doctor that we don't have to worry so much about germs this winter.  He reiterated that his immune system is strong enough to fight things off normally now, and to some extent, he needs to be exposed to things like all 'normal' kids would.  He got his last Hepatitis A vaccine and we were on our way.  We don't have to go back for another six months, just to check in!

As I mentioned in the birthday post, we had company for Thanksgiving.  Jason was still in Egypt, but my grandma, dad, step mom Xian, and little sister Victoria all came to spend the holiday with us.  Both boys absolutely LOVED their Aunt Vickie, and they got close to PauPau and Grandpa very quickly too.  Of course they always love their Nonna, so it's no surprise they were happy to spend time with her!

Going down the big slide with Aunt Vickie

Story time with Grandpa Ray

More story time with Nonna Lena

Technically, this was Cayden's third Thanksgiving, but it was the first one where he could really indulge in all the yummy food, and indulge he did!  He ate two helpings of everything we made: turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce, carrots, and pumpkin pie.

Round one...

Of course the thing I'm most thankful for every year is Cayden's amazing good health.  We've been so lucky.

In early December, we had our 6-month review with our Developmental Pathways coordinator, Alex, and our physical therapist, Deb.  Everyone is just so pleased with and amazed by his progress, and since he's reached all of his developmental milestones, Deb released him from physical therapy.  Since he hasn't had a speech evaluation yet, Alex agreed to arrange a speech therapy consult just to be sure Cayden is progressing satisfactorily in that area as well.  No one is really concerned there will be any issues, but we'll find out for sure this Wednesday at his appointment.  If that goes well, Alex will sign him off and he will be all done with everything!  They do recommend we get in touch with our school district for an evaluation before he starts kindergarten, just to be sure no learning disabilities show up between now and then, but then he'll be in the hands of the public school system and they can help address any needs he may have at that point.

Daddy came home from Egypt the first week in December and both boys were SO happy to see him.  A few days after he got home, we took a trip to Arkansas to visit Jason's family, and Cayden certainly charmed everyone there!  He got to meet his cousins, Tera and Ryan, his Uncle Jeff, his great-grandma Grover, and his great-aunt Pam all for the first time, and got to spend plenty of time with his Grammy Janene, Poppa Dan, and Aunt Karin.  We had an early Christmas celebration, and came home with a suitcase full of gifts!

Loving his cousins!

Getting the hang of ripping open presents

Sneaking a bite of Tera's yogurt bar

With Great-grandma Grover and Daddy

We spent a few hours at the Discovery Museum while we were there and the boys had a ball!  They also spent an evening with Grammy and Poppa babysitting so Jason and I could go out for dinner and a movie.  Of course both boys were complete and total angels for them, doing things without a fuss that they would NEVER do for me.  I think we need to visit the grandparents more often!

Cayden is talking like crazy.  It seems he picks up a dozen new words a day lately.  He's still hard to understand a lot of the time, and he gets a little frustrated when we don't give him what he wants or acknowledge what he says.  He seems to be steadier on his feet and not quite as clumsy.  He's still a fearless daredevil, and his latest favorite thing to do is hold onto the side of Jamison's toddler bed and bounce up and down like a giggling madman!  He's trying to jump off of things now, but he doesn't quite have that skill mastered yet.  It's more of a slide/step/flop, but he keeps trying!

While we were out of town, we noticed that it looks like Cayden has one for sure and maybe two or all three of the other two-year molars poking through his gums.  He's been a little fussy at night with slight fevers at random times for a day or two, and my guess is that his mouth hurts.  Hopefully they'll all be in soon and we can get back to sleeping hard all through the night.  One can dream, can't she?





Happy (belated) second birthday!

As I mentioned previously, I've been wanting to post a couple entries here for awhile now, but other things just kept taking priority.  I feel bad that I'm almost a month late in my birthday post - bad mommy!

So to make up for it, I'll dedicate this entire entry to Cayden's 2nd birthday, and I'll save the other news and updates for another entry.

Cayden's birthday was on a Monday this year, during the week of Thanksgiving.  With each year that passes, I find myself more and more grateful and thankful on his birthday and during Thanksgiving.  We have basically come through our ordeal unscathed, beating impossible odds, ending up with a perfect, healthy toddler.

Nonna Lena came to visit us for Thanksgiving, and arrived early enough so that she was with us for Cayden's birthday too.  I wasn't sure I could pull off a full-on party without Jason's help, so I was just planning on making a cake then inviting over a few of our adult friends to help devour it.  Since Nonna Lena was in town, she offered to up the celebration by making homemade lasagna to go along with the cake.

In the morning, we had breakfast-by-Skype with Daddy (who was still in Egypt), then opened presents and cards.  Cayden got a fun dump truck from Gruncle Don and Graunt Kay, some cool plush cars from Grammy and Poppa, a plastic bear filled with animal crackers from our nanny, Adela, a new toy drum to destroy and a toy vacuum to clean up all the mess from Mommy and Daddy, and assorted cash and gift cards from Grandpa Ray, PauPau Xian, Aunt Vickie, Nonna Lena, Aunt Karin, Uncle Jeff, and cousins Tera and Ryan.  He also got a hand-written, heartfelt letter from GG Bea, which in my opinion, was the best gift of all.

 

After lunch and a nap, during which Nonna cranked out homemade noodles and assembled the lasagna while I baked and frosted the cake, we set the table and waited for our guests to arrive.

We were joined by my best friend, Laura, (aka Aunt Bee) and my old college friends, Matt and Andie Roth and their 2-year-old son, Evan.  The lasagna was to die for, as always! 

Something about a moist, dense, buttermilk cake sounded so good, so I made a white buttermilk cake with dark chocolate frosting.  Unfortunately, baking in Denver with our high altitude has its challenges, and though the cake tasted o.k., it wasn't what I was hoping for.  I'm pretty sure it could have been made out of sawdust, glue, and sugar, and Cayden still would have eaten it! 

As expected, Cayden downed a good bit of lasagna but still had plenty of room for cake.  We sang Happy Birthday to him and he smiled through the song, but when it came time to blow out the candles, he couldn't quite finish the job.  Big Brother Jamison helped, then we all enjoyed a piece of cake and some ice cream.  

After dessert, Cayden and Jamison both ran around like sugar-fueled, drunken hyenas, laughing and just enjoying the sugar high.  Aunt Bee laughed out loud when Cayden ran into the kitchen while we were cleaning up, stopped suddenly, giggled hysterically at seemingly nothing, eyes rolling around, head swerving like Stevie Wonder, then tore on out of the room again.  She commented, "Everything that goes up, must come down!", and it made me laugh!  It took the boys a good while to wind down, but I was finally able to get them into bed. 

Two years old!

I have a couple separate, lengthy blog entries I want to make, but I just don't have the time to do it right now.  Hopefully soon I can find the time, but I at least wanted to mark the occasion of Cayden turning two on November 19th, 2012 with a picture...

Time flies!

Once again, time has gotten away from me and it's been longer than ever since I've blogged.  Seven weeks, to be exact.  I'm not sure I can even remember all that's happened since then!

The most exciting thing for all of us was that Jason was home for two whole months this last stretch, so Cayden and his brother got lots and lots of Daddy-time.  Jason went back to Cairo on the first of October, and although he'll miss Thanksgiving with us, he should be home for all of December and the holidays.

Unfortunately, Cayden caught ANOTHER cold barely more than a week after he got over that first cold of the season he had.  I would have been really worried about his ability to fight off infection and concerned that maybe we should voluntarily subject ourselves to another winter holed up at home, but Jamison got sick too.  So I guess if Jamison and his "normal" immune system got it, it isn't anything to be concerned about.  I hope. 

Just before Jason left again, we took a little trip to Anderson Farms, north of Denver, for their Fall Festival.  The boys got to see, pet, and feed goats, bunnies, a donkey, chickens, cows, and geese,

Silly goose

they rode on a barrel train,

This one cracks me up!  Talk about not being able to see over the steering wheel...

played in a hay bale maze, took a hay ride,

Squirming on Momma's lap

and wandered around a giant pumpkin patch

So many to choose from!

where they picked their very own pumpkins!

With Daddy, struggling to contain a wiggly boy and four roly poly pumpkins

We had a great time and wished we could have stayed longer!

The first week in October, Cayden took his first trip to the zoo.  It was a beautifully warm, fall day, and I had help from our friend, Kathy, so it was manageable with both boys out of the stroller!  Cayden especially liked the monkeys and banging on the bongo drums in the little play area.


Checking out the monkeys with Kathy

In mid-October, Cayden got to meet his Gruncle Don and Graunt Kay for the first time!  They came to visit for a few days and we had an absolutely wonderful time.  Cayden really took to both of them so quickly, which is unusual for him, so they (as I've known for years) are truly something special!

On the playground with Graunt Kay

With Jamison, Gruncle Don and Graunt Kay

Developmentally, Cayden's vocabulary is blossoming and he is chattering non-stop.  My favorite thing he says is "See dees?  See dees?" - as in CDs - as he waves one around in my face.  He excitedly repeats it over and over as he pulls CD after CD off of the shelf and jams them by the dozen into the 5-disk CD player.  It's adorable the way he gets so excited about a simple CD, but it drives me bonkers having to fish them out of the (now broken, I'm sure) CD player and then arrange them back on the shelf with the hundreds of others.  I think maybe it's time to put everything onto an Ipod and throw away the actual CDs?!

His walking and running are much steadier now.  He's climbing like crazy, loves rocking on the rocking horse, and likes to hide in the one tiny kitchen cabinet that doesn't have a lock on it.

Peek a boo!

Just a couple days ago, I noticed he has one of his two-year molars poking through!  Maybe that explains why he's been a bit cranky and fussy and always wanting his binky lately?  Poor little guy's mouth probably hurts!  He's still got quite the appetite, however.  I'm so curious to know how much he weighs next month at his 2-year check up!


First cold of the season

Our temperatures have still been in the 90s, but Cayden has caught a cold.  Thankfully, it's been quite awhile since he's had one.  To be honest, I can't remember the last time he had one, so we've been lucky.  It doesn't seem too bad - just your run-of-the-mill runny nose, coughing, congestion, restlessness, and slight fever.  Jamison caught it a day later, so we've got double the fun!

I am reminded of a funny poem I heard years ago:

Do not kiss your honey
When your nose is runny.
You might think it's funny
But it's snot.

Despite Dr. Rosenberg's assurance at his 18-month check up in May that Cayden's immune system was "caught up" and able to fight off infections like a "normal" kid, I still have anxiety that it could turn into something worse.  Yesterday afternoon while trying to get him to nap, he got so worked up, coughing and crying, that he started making a distinct whooping noise every time he inhaled.  It took both Jason and me a good half hour to calm him down, and by that time, the doctor's office had closed, but my instant reaction was to want to run to the phone and call them to see if it was possible he could have whooping cough, even though he's been vaccinated.  He sounded fine after he calmed down, and Jason listened to his lungs and said they sounded clear, so that was reassuring, and I forgot about calling today to ask the doctor's opinion.

Although his appetite wasn't great today, his demeanor seemed good, so hopefully this will just be a typical fall cold.  I do wonder if I will ever get over the anxiety of thinking it's going to turn into something worse?  Jason is leaving again on Sunday (for just a week this time), so I wonder if that looming prospect has anything to do with my heightened concern? 

I forgot to mention in my last post that we went to our second (annual) NICU Graduate Preemie Picnic on August 4th.  It was the day before Jason got home, so I took both boys by myself and met up with my fellow mom friend from the NICU, Jessica, and her NICU grad daughter, Bianca.  For those of you who have been following my blog since way back when, Jessica is the amazing mom I mentioned who had to perform CPR on Bianca soon after they came home from the NICU.  Poor Bianca had a rough time for the first few months she was home, but I'm happy to report that she is doing GREAT!  She's growing and developing on track, healthy, and beautiful!

So back to the picnic...it was a nice day - one of only a few days this entire summer we've had where the temperature was less than 90 degrees - but I was so disappointed to only see a couple people we knew.  Two nurses, Carrie and Yvonne, and we also saw Dr. Rosenberg, but we see him pretty often, so that wasn't such a big deal.  I saw a couple other familiar faces, but couldn't recollect their names.  I guess after a year and a half, your memory fades and all those things you thought you'd never forget, you forget.

Riding the train at the picnic with Jamison

A few weeks after the picnic, Cayden and I stopped by the NICU to drop off a book for a new preemie mom I found out about via Facebook.  I passed along my Preemies book that was an invaluable resource to me that first year.  I hope she gets as much comfort and information from it as I did. 

Anyway, while at the NICU, we were able to see two of my favorite people - lactation consultant, Virginia, and our primary nurse, Megan.  These two ladies had such a positive influence on my whole NICU experience.  They were warm lights during a very dark and scary time, and I will forever be grateful to them.  It's been over a year since either of them have seen Cayden, so it was wonderful to show them how far he's come and remind them how their hard work and compassion pays off!

After saying hello again to a couple old friends, we said goodbye to another.  Cayden had his last occupational therapy session with Amy Jo on August 29th.  It's such a great feeling to know that he no longer needs that therapy.  Not only is he doing what he should be for his adjusted age, he is doing everything and more than he should do for his actual age!  He'll still see his physical therapist, Deb, but the frequency of those sessions are being cut back and he should be done by the end of the year.  In fact, Deb said he could be done now if I wanted to stop, but I'm not sure I'm ready to let go of all of my professional help quite yet!  There are still a few milestones he has yet to reach, like jumping and walking down stairs, so we'll continue with physical therapy once a month for the next few months, just to make sure he stays on track.

Two weeks ago, we bought a new vehicle - a minivan. (The feelings that came with parting with my beloved Pathfinder and giving in to the stigma of being a minivan owner could be an entire separate post!) So to break it in, we took a little road trip to Winter Park. It was our first road trip as a family of four and the first time Cayden has been up to the mountains. When he was still on oxygen and his respiratory health was still questionable, we were told not to take him up in altitude as it could negatively affect his breathing. This was the first chance we've had to get up to there, and let me tell you, I sure missed that cool, crisp, mountain air, the friendly people, the peacefulness, and the beautiful scenery. Our dear friends, the Ericssons, let us stay at their condo in nearby Fraser, so we had a comfortable home base for the few days we were there. We spent most of our time at playgrounds and other places for the boys to have fun, but it was nice to just get away and relax a little.

It's TIME for a vacation!

Climbing the rock wall with Jami at the Grand Park Recreation Center.  This was after swimming in the pool for two hours!

Momma doesn't know how to use the camera to its full potential, so the beautiful mountains in the background are washed out.  That's o.k.  It makes you focus on the two handsome boys in the foreground, right?  (Cayden and Daddy)

Puppy love!

Pretty flowers at Winter Park Village

Oh, and one other thing that just happened yesterday:  Cayden is crawling out of his crib!  Jamison will be three years old in less than a month, and he only started crawling out of his crib a few weeks ago.  How the heck did Cayden figure this out so soon?!  I'll tell you how:  Cayden is fearless.  He is like a bulldozer.  Rough and tumble.  Loves to climb.  Curious.  Strong.  We're in trouble!

The BIG Celebration!

Happy days are here again!  Jason came home from his second two-month trip to Egypt on August 5th and we wasted no time planning and throwing a huge party.  Ever since Cayden was in the NICU, we talked about wanting to thank all of the people who came to our aid.  We wanted to do something special; saying 'thank you' over and over just didn't seem adequate.



We wanted to celebrate friendship, Cayden's miraculous good health, and also the fact that - after 20 years of chipping away at it - Jason finally completed his bachelor's degree.  We invited everyone we could think of who has been a part of our ordeal over the past two years, including family, friends, neighbors, therapists, and NICU nurses, then we stocked up on lots of great BBQ, beer, and sangria.  On Saturday, August 11th, we threw open our back gate and piled over 80 people into our backyard to eat, drink, laugh, socialize, and watch two awesome bands play (I'm With Her, from Denver and my old friends, Shurman, from Austin, Texas).  It's a day we'll never forget!

We hung these two pictures on the wall above the food table, just to remind everyone how far Cayden has come...
Then: 11/22/10 - 2 lbs. 0 oz.
Now: 6/29/12 - 26 pounds

While I was introducing Shurman, Cayden came up to help and got a round of applause.
The party was in his honor, after all!

Jason and me with some of our guests

Haley E. Rydell and Angie Stevens from I'm With Her

Shurman!  (Harley Husbands, Aaron Beavers, Clint Short, and Mike Therieau)

One of two yummy cakes we had

We even had two very special friends fly in from out of town for the big event.  Connie (who is a faithful follower of this blog - hi, Connie!) came in from Wisconsin and Steene (who spent over a week at our house last summer, helping out TREMENDOUSLY with Cayden and Jamison while Jason was out of town for work) surprised the heck out of us by telling us she couldn't make it, then she secretly caught a flight from Phoenix and showed up at our doorstep right before the party started!  It made the day even more special having them there to share in the fun!

Cayden with Connie

 I know there are lots of other things that have been happening since my last update, but my mind is still swimming with all of the party memories, making it hard to think back about what's happened developmentally in the past month or so!  Cayden is a lot more vocal - he's saying dozens of words clearly now.  One of the cutest things he does is say, "Some!" over and over when he wants something. 

He also likes to pull the head off of our life-size plastic lawn goose and then leave the head laying somewhere for me to find while he pushes the headless body around the wooden floor.  Often, he'll bring the head right to me, proudly shouting "GOO!" as he sticks it in my lap or face.  It's pretty funny, but a bit morbid when you stop and think about how it looks! 

He's walking and running like a champ.  Well, I guess he's still pretty tipsy when he runs, but he doesn't fall nearly as much and when he does fall, he just gets right back up and keeps on going!  One of his favorite things to do in the back yard is push his play lawn mower around.  If only I could get him to push the real one!

When Jason got home, we started both boys in parent and tot swimming lessons.  We went four days a week for two weeks in a row and Cayden LOVED it! 

Practicing kicking with Momma



Floating in a life vest with Daddy

JUMP!  Jumping in from the side of our pool with our instructor, Colleen.

Doing the Hokey Pokey with big brother Jamison at the end of class

I guess that's about all to update for now.  I'm sure I'll think of some more things as soon as I post this, so maybe I'll have another entry sooner rather than later!