The NICU has been getting quieter lately. Seems a lot of the babies have been going home in the last couple of days, including the baby nearest to Cayden's pod. I never met that family, but I bet they're going to have the best Christmas ever.
This evening, as I opened the curtain to leave Cayden's little area. I walked straight into a rush of people. Doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists all still in their surgical scrubs, masks, and hats were wheeling a tiny, newly born baby from the OR to his new home in the recently vacated pod near Cayden. I was overcome with emotion. It was like I was witnessing the same scene that must have played out exactly four weeks earlier when Cayden arrived there. I thought of what had to be the dazed and terrified mother still lying on the operating table, frantically wondering what was going to happen to her baby. I can't believe that was me less than a month ago. On one hand, it seems like forever ago, but then again, it seems like it all happened just a couple days ago.
Kangaroo care with Cayden has been going very well. I've been holding him for at least an hour each of the past couple of days, and he is tolerating it perfectly. It takes him about 10 or 15 minutes to completely settle and fall asleep, but once he does, he sleeps so comfortably.
Today, I noticed something that will forever remind me how small he is: every day, I wear a necklace (given to me by my dear cousin, Danielle) with two charms on it. The charms are circles, 3/4 of an inch in diameter, with an angel on one and "Jamison" imprinted on the other. I usually pull the necklace back and out of the way with the charms behind my head while I'm kangarooing, but today I forgot. At one point, I looked down and saw Cayden had his hand over top of the angel charm - his tiny hand barely covered it. I hope that years from now, long after that necklace has broken and the charms are tarnished, I can pull it out of a jewelry box and show my grown, healthy son how far he has come.